사랑해요 우리 아버지

ce teke aku nak cite ape sbenonye ni. byk cite ni..tapi kite wat lekk dulu..
cite satu2..

ok..kat rumah aku skrang ni sgt tonggang tebalik. sbb ayah aku tgh sakit teruk yang tak termampu aku bygkan akan jadi kat family aku tahun ni. mcm dlm movie jugak la..
skrg ni aku tahu n merasa jaga orang sakit. sangat menyedihkan..humm..
my father..he suffering thyroid cancer since I was in high school. but it seem to be very fine lately..

but after two weeks I left (I mean I went to the city), my father's condition turns bad. he act like a baby. he hold my hands without a word. what shall I speak at a moment like this. all the memories of him during my childhood moment keep attending my mind. no words..
I cried so much.
Hari first balik, when I on my way back home, my mom called and she asked me where are we?
I said less than a second we'll reach the front door, so wait for us and don't lock the door since the night still young (10pm).
my mom said "abah masuk hospital, tgh dalam ambulance" suddenly I lost my smile and said ok!
then, around 5 am my mom wakes me up and says "tolong tgkkan abah. mak ngantuk."
OK, I sleep tightly without noticing that my father was back. I see he's bad condition. Mmg meleleh air mate..terus aku duduk sblah abah n mintak ampun, mintak maaf. TAKUT kalau kalau...
mmg he changed a lot. then die mintak aku bace yassin utk die.. lagilahhhhhh................

sumpah aku tak sedia nak hilang for a second time since apin meninggal 5 years ago.
ape pun tak siap lagi.. tahun ni mmg aku tak mengharap untuk sambut raya mcm orang lain. baju raya pon tak berjahit. kuih raya lagila..ampun aku nak pegi bersuka ria sedangkan abah aku tgh sakit mcm tu.
tiap kali aku tgk die mmg aku tak tahan sedih...teringat dulu-dulu mase sihat kan.

mood sedih..

Tapi tu lah kan...jgn menyesal sbb kene hadap semua bende ni.sakit mmg sakit, tapi semua ni ade hikmah n sentiasa bersyukur dgn tuhan. don't regret.........