Friend that we need

Regarding this post, I think it is a must to write. The topic which can be a key for me to keep climbing towards a successful sustainable lifestyle. Gittew. Yes, kita semua ada isu about life goal, achievement yang makcik bawang ranger selalu pertikaikan everytime we have conversation with them. Like me, I have so many insecurities to face in my life at this age and at this stage. I am unmarried women, liability tak banyak but ada, aset.. only kereta cabuk, life vision.. typical (boring). Okay.. I used to have a very expensive hobby which is travel and nature explorer. (told you its not a cheap hobby) but when I hit this age (currently 28 and 29 soon) I have to slowly withdraw from it. Because I feel like its no longer relevant or lebih kepada got more commitment to focus. Komitmen tu maksud aku bende basic yang orang akan start put it as a goal bila umur dah macam aku. Things like house la.. marriage la.. normal future plan. It is sooooooo average but it does give me a pressure. Enough pressure till I no longer be able to enjoy my life. (ni belum kawin lagi ni..hmmm..) dalam banyak2 org yang ada kat sekeliling aku ni, only few of them yang kata its okay, take your time. Or give you advice which didn’t makes you feel down. That kind of vibes la~ so few. They are so limited until aku boleh kira . These people are the one that I should keep in my pocket. Why, because diorg betul2 buat aku rasa tenang. okay mari kita bincangkan ....

One of them is benard. Dia ni aku jumpe masa aku volunteering kat shah alam and start be his friend. Kitorg jarang jumpa. Bila kitorg lepak, memang tak lama. Dalam sejam je but the content of our conversation is something which give me a.. ape org kata tu.. feed my soul a gittew.  Jarang ada orang kata congratulations bila kereta aku dah nak habis bayar. Mostly will said.." so bila nak tukar kereta baru." Bila aku kata family aku suruh aku start beli rumah as an aset. But he said, "..better jangan beli dulu. Tunggu betul2 dah cukup duit , kawin and beli you punya dream house. ".(Exactly what i want to hear) Bila aku cakap masalah life vision (macam tak ada life vision pun hidup aku. Semua average typical life goal org melayu je. I know my life is not interesting) He remind me of my old self, the one who I used to be. U know, friend like this they always give you lights. He told me there’s always hope and chance. Aku igt lagi, dia pernah kata kat aku,.." tak apa pakai myvi je.. biar economic. Jangan bykkan hutang." Then dia pernah kata kat aku, “..takkan la u punya life nak jadi macam orang biasa tu, kerje then kawin then dapat anak and finally uruskan rumah tangga pastu mati. So plain la. Boring life...” I realized all these dari dulu lagi and what hurts me was eventho I knew it and I didn’t want to be that average people, tapi end up aku becoming that normal people.. so sebab tu ada sikit rasa sedih disitu ye. But still aku try to be different. Aku pegang satu kata-kata ni, aku tak igt dpt dr mana.. it says “jangan tunggu peluang datang, if its not coming, then ko yang kene buka peluang tu untuk diri ko.!” & yes, this word works everytime. So eventho hidup aku dah menyimpang jauh dari vision asal hidup aku, but actually aku belum give up. I still create that opportunity for myself toward things that I want to do for real. I just hope that satu hari nanti aku dapat jadi macam apa yang aku nak. But of course la aku kne be stronger. Sbb sekarang ni mudah sgt terkoyak dgn words2 slay mackchicks bawang ranger. (Legit savage do makcik tau tak)

So basically kawan yang buat kita rasa this life is not competition but to find peace is very limited. Yang aku sedih ni bila semua ni hanya pinjaman tuhan untuk aku. Sbb makin tua kawan pun makin kurang. Ye diorg ada tapi masing2 dah ada family so they are no longer yours. They belong to their life. And me, within masa yang Tuhan pinjamkan diorg untuk aku tu, of course will be keep as life lesson sbb diorg ni banyak mengajar aku how to sustain my life and emotion. Thank you God for that chance.